The
shackles bind them for eternity,
Until
they turn away from their ignorance.
When
they see the light they can learn everything, like what is maternity,
They
are no longer fools so if they wish, they can dance.
While
the prisoners stay afraid in their cave.
They
are no longer restricted by the darkness’s cage,
They
have been saved.
Their
possibilities are limitless.
It’s
not like losing a tooth,
Your
chance of losing a tooth is imminent.
Join
the realm of intellectuals and not give birth to ignorance,
However
maybe the world was meant to contain difference.
I like your sonnet because it is different from others in the aspect of content. You state something, such as "When they see the light they can learn everything," and you follow up with an example "like what is maternity," which is really good and enriching. Good job!
ReplyDeleteGood job on your sonnet. I especially liked your reference to losing teeth because that distinguished your sonnet from others.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with Ubi, I laughed when you made the reference to teeth. Not sure it fits in with the context that well but it does make it a lot more interesting to read. Good job B.
ReplyDeleteYour opening line definitely gets your attention and makes you want to read further. I think I understand what you were trying to say with the tooth line but it doesn't really make sense (to me at least). Your comparing limitless opportunities with the inevitability of loosing a tooth.
ReplyDeleteYou have 14 lines and a rhyming pattern. Good job.
You've got a really interesting mix of understated humor and the allegory's theme. I like how "the realm of intellectuals" makes it sound like some elevated position above normal human existence. Very appropriate for the allegory.
ReplyDeleteHaha very nice and funny. Great job :]
ReplyDeleteGreat Job. I really enjoyed your rhymes and diction.
ReplyDelete"They are no longer fools so if they wish, they can dance."
ReplyDeleteI like this line the most :) Your rhyming structure is excellent as well.
Nice rhyme scheme and diction.I like this line: "Join the realm of intellectuals and not give birth to ignorance". Great job!
ReplyDeleteI love the last two lines. very original. Good job Bernardo!
ReplyDeleteRemember that the sonnet also has to be written in iambic pentameter, the pattern of 10 syllables. This was a great sonnet otherwise because I was thoroughly entertained by the follow-up examples, but maybe that is just my nerdy humor coming out.
ReplyDeleteGood job! The beginning drew me in and I enjoyed the diction you used.
ReplyDeleteGood job! the last two lines were my favorite! i enjoyed your diction as well. please comment on mine :)http://danig14.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteIgnorance and difference were a good rhyming pair! Also I like how this sonnet had more of a comedic feel to it as opposed to all the serious ones I have read..don't forget to write in iambic pantameter!
ReplyDeleteI would just watch the iambic pentameter but you did a great job apart from that!
ReplyDeletegreat job! i really like how you caught the emotional aspect of it and also how you referred back to maternity where it all began.
ReplyDeletegood job i liked your rhyming and pentameter
ReplyDeleteGreat job, i specifically liked your diction.
ReplyDeleteGreat sonnet. Really flows well
ReplyDeleteGreat job, it looks like you really understand the allegory
ReplyDeleteThe third verse was my favorite! Great job on this! Could you comment on mine please?
ReplyDeletehttp://kfursterhsenglitcomp.blogspot.com/2012/11/allegory-of-cave-sonnet.html#comment-form
Great sonnet Bernardo! Quite creative and I enjoyed reading it. Comment back on mine please?
ReplyDelete